Apparently he’s a saint… And we’re definitely not saying she might be cheating on you… But hey - why just not doublecheck on your wife? Here’s a helpful list of symptoms:* Instead of cookies and milk, she leaves out a fifth of Scotch and edible panties.
* Comes home with tinsel stuck between her teeth and Claus marks on her back.
* Of the 200 presents for her under the tree, you bought three of them.
* Never very adventuresome in bed, she suddenly asks if you want to do it "reindeer style."
* Her picture is prominently featured on santasbitches.com.
* Every day after work, elves block you in traffic to keep you from getting home too early.
* She’s shaved her pubic hair into the shape of a little chimney.
* Tells you that you would look a lot sexier if you grew a beard and added 150 pounds.
* Every December 24th it’s the same routine: She puts on a teddy and sits on the roof.
* Her ears perk up every time she hears "Ho Ho Ho!"
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